Years ago, I had the privilege of working with an award-winning writer who had to her credit groundbreaking shows from television’s golden era: “All in the Family,” “Archie Bunker’s Place,” “Lou Grant,” “Valerie,” “Cagney & Lacey,” “In The Heat of The Night,” “Bagdad Café,” and the CBS pilot for “Gloria.” We met once or twice per week throughout my month-long journey with Act One: Writing for Hollywood in its inaugural year. She liked my story about a stockbroker and leprechaun. It had promise with comedic elements and story progression. I recall sitting in a Los Angeles coffeehouse during one of our meetings. My mentor made a comment on the dialogue. “Well, it’s on the nose.” Silly me thought it was a compliment. Honestly, don’t laugh. I thought of it as being precise to the character and moving the story along! Wrong underlined a few times!
According to The American Heritage Idioms Dictionary the idiomatic expression “on the nose” probably derives from boxing, suggesting that the opponent’s nose was the target: Exactly, precisely; especially, at the appointed time or estimated amount. I don’t usually like to defer to dictionary terms for defining a word, but I do prefer to acknowledge the origins of a colloquialism or phrase.
So back to characters and how they express themselves. We’re not kidding anyone. Every character of fiction is given voice by the writer, whether it’s a script or novel. We need to know more about our characters than we actually reveal. We need to be inside their heads without revealing every blessed thought they have, otherwise we’ll be writing ad nauseam ramblings with no subtleties of gestures or hidden motives. Actually, I’ve read a book similar to that and it won an award. It also didn’t have any evident punctuation—one long sentence from the first word to the last and ended with profanity. I felt like the author was giving his audience an obscene gesture or two. But I digress. Back to the characters and on the nose. Be all about the character’s business, albeit nosey, but not on the nose in bringing them to life! Annoy these manifestations of your mind enough to know how they tick! Okay, I realize they aren’t real people, but they are real to the reader or audience!
Some writing exercises go into great depth and have the writer list out descriptions of everything from a character’s favorite dessert, where they vacation, to more obvious points like physicality, career, nationality, etc. I tend to start with a physical form in my head and then let the character reveal more to me. I usually know how the protagonist or other primary characters will react to a plot sequence or action, or at least I hope I do! And the voice and dialogue should be specific, obviously! Some of my characters are so easy for me to identify while others remain elusive, or, unfortunately, a little like cardboard cutouts. But not everyone in your story will get top billing.
So how do you know your character’s dialogue is the dreaded on the nose? First and foremost: don’t state the obvious, unless you’re revealing something about the character. In early drafts, I tend to have the character say something that emphasized an action they’ve already executed or will do very soon. Here’s a for instance. A young girl, freshman in college, stops by a restaurant hoping to run into the crush of the century who works as a waiter. At first, I have her say something like, “I thought I’d drop by.” Well, no duh, right? It’s stating the obvious and says nothing about her. If I want to give a glimpse of how she feels about the brave move, she might say, “You look busy.” Now that sounds obvious, but it’s her way of making an excuse to leave as quickly as she arrived. Or maybe an action that reveals her embarrassment at showing up. She could even get to the door and turn around and leave before entering. Just that moment of indecision alone says something. The dialogue or action should reveal something about the character not the story. Let the narrator tell you something of the back story.
Another issue my editor has instructed me about in Book 2 of my novel series is the head hopping syndrome of being in the thoughts of too many characters. Anyone else guilty of that one? I’m concerned that my characters will appear lifeless or flat if the reader doesn’t hear their thoughts. Also, my illustrious editor has restricted me to only being in the head of two characters at the most, and with good reason. It keeps the story moving and keeps the reader from getting fatigued in figuring out whose thoughts they are hearing.
Character dialogue sounds easy but it really isn’t. And, you don’t want exposition to be the means of solving the head hopping dilemma. But you don’t want the reader wondering why a character is in a story if he or she isn’t really contributing to the plot development. It’s all a balancing act, but honestly, if you really know your characters they will tell you what to write. And you may change their dialogue in successive drafts, but it won’t deviate too much because, WELL, you know the characters, right?? Know what motivates them, but, most importantly know their life experience!
There’s so much more that can be written about character development, dialogue, etc., that could be explored in an endless number of blogs. But I’ll close and wish everyone a very successful writing path in 2021. Be happy when you write and even happier when you rewrite! Look forward to hearing your thoughts, so please feel free to leave a comment!